Parental Fails

Blaa, last few posts have been full of woes. I don't want to make it a running theme. So, for your pleasure today I will share my week (2 days) of failures!

• Going to the shop with pear in my hair, so much in fact it looked like bird shit. It was dry and flakey, no one told me. Bastards.

• Ran out of nappies, considering just wrapping a towel around her, like a bum tuban. I'm not a cloth nappier person, there will be poo leaking everywhere. 

• Trod on a metal Thomas the Tank, shouted 'Jesus, bloody, wanking, Nora!'. Got asked what a 'wanking' was. It's a type of fish in case you wondered. Just one you can't tell anyone about. Yep, 'The Secret Wanking Fish'. It's a thing.

• Got a carrot stuck under my finger nail. Not just any carrot. One out of poo. The worst bit, for a split second I forgot and nearly put it in my mouth. Yes ladies and Gents, I nearly ate a shitty carrot.

• I tried to draw a 'cool picutre' for the blog and I drew...

It looks like a photo, no?

•  I forgot to feed Eldest. She ate a heap of cookies around lunch time, I was all 'I'll make lunch when she is done'. Just before dinner a little voice said 'Mummmmy, just wondering... where did lunch time go today?'. Fuck. 

• I've hidden the stick that dings the triangle. I felt like I was living inside a bell yesterday. This feels like a triumph. Unless you're 5 or under, then this is a disaster.

That is enough admission for now.

 Feel free to share any of your fails this week, I'd love to hear them!