Sunday, 30 September 2012

The day of tantrum

Look at that face, that fat little face. That fat, happy, smiling and innocent little face.

Tantrum day, unlike other days was hard. It was so so hard. I was bitten, slapped, ignored and ultimately gave up.

It started out a normal day, nice and easy. Happy Mojo. Then, I gave her pancakes for breakfast when Eldest had toast. 8am, Mojo decided to have the first trantrum. She wanted toast, not pancakes. She wanted them so badly, she threw her food off of the highchair, pull her foot up and decided to bite her own toe. Then went all ridged.

I offered up toast as a pacifier, it's 8am I'm too tired for this shit.

10.18am Toast successfully rubbed into hair, eyes, nose, ears and clothes. Tantrum 2. Immediate bed. Not in five minutes, right now. Grabbed Mojo, went to climb the stairs. Got smack repeatedly in the eye socket. It hurt and she did it with force. Real baby force hurts more than getting smacked with a bat.

From the begining of nap time till the end of nap time, I'm working on the new business venture & helping Eldest with her number games. Eldest needs some socks and trousers after a spillage, her Bio-dad is about to pick her up. I have no choice, please forgive me. I have to go into Mojo's lair of hate.

 Open the door, creep in, all is fine, grab socks and trousers, slowly turn around. 'Uhhhmm   nughghhmm    mumumuMUMWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'.
Fuck. Humph. Try to sooth angry feral child, no dice. Carry her down stairs.

She is standing up now, and does so just because she can. I take her hand to coax her to walk forward.

She growls, actually growls and bites my knuckle. It really hurts. 'No Mojo'. What the fuck are you supposed to say to a ten month old who is just angry?

I leave her to it for a while to play, then decide I should feed her. Try to move her to the highchair, I get my hair pulled, then rigid baby syndrome.


Manage to wedge her rigid little body into the high chair. Return with food. She eats it. I think it is subsiding. She must be calm down.

NOT SO. After food time is complete, I think it was about 3pm.

3pm - Clean angry child, get bitten. Try to calm Mojo down, get bitten. Hold her fat, soft little hands, get bitten on 2 knuckles. With so much force her head shook and went red.

3.30pm Give up. She says 'betttttt' this means bed, so to bed we go.

I have never been so happy to put one of my children to sleep. It was a shock for me. Eldest was a happy, some might say a little dim but ultimately easy baby.

Mojo is a feral kid. Tonight at bath time, I'm going looking for a tail and the sign of the beast!


Monday, 24 September 2012

Update and an Introduction!

Yes, I took a little incy wincy break. I hope I'm forgiven?


Okay so, after much consideration plus some fabulous advice from my amazing twitter friends, yes. Friends, you're all amazing. I decided to go ahead and start a little business with my friend. It's still finding it's feet at the moment, I'd like to report that we have already had a few meetings and we have one with a radio station coming up.

Here is the link to the site if you want to check it out FreakyPug. I used to do something similar before, so it made sense to pull this back off the shelf and manipulate it to fit all parties involved. So far it's going okay.

If you feel like being super lovely I'm also running the twitter for it. @freakypugpr  you can feel free to follow, it will be mostly muso talk though, with the occasional post because I have forgotten to swap accounts...

Update 2!

All is fine with Vatti, Mother has been in touch and was drunk and said things that shan't be repeated. The house is a little crowded, but that's okay. Rather that than the other... Him staying there. It's all a bit hectic.

So yeah, that's it. I'm back, I'd like to introduce my new project, give you an update because you're all awesome!!

This is our new logo.

As always thank you for stopping by!! 

Friday, 14 September 2012

Why? Why? WHY!?

I have already done a 'why?' meme however I feel like these points are as true now as they were then, with some added extras.

So thank you to Anonomum for tagging me! Your list was fab.

And on to the meat and potatoes of the whole thing. My 'Why' list. 

 Why can you yawn, begin to droop in your chairs, tell me you are sooooo sleepy then the minute you go to bed you are wide awake? WHY?

Why do you always have sticky things in your hair? I bathe you daily, you wash, even when there is no sticky. Eldest why do you always have sticky hair?

Why no matter how many times I tell you, do you continue to wipe your mouth on those clean, freshly out the dryer cloths? In public? and WHY is it always tomato sauce?

Why Mojo do you think it is funny to stick you chubby handies in my mouth and grab my tongue?

Why is there lego on your bedroom floor? I went to great lengths to not buy you lego to avoid the treading on it fiasco. My foot/feet can't take that kind of shock.

Why are the only times you want to bring up the fact I did a poo today, with the person across from us
on the tram?

Mojo, on the theme of poo, why do you wait till the moment we are about to leave the house to take a massive skitty one that travels?

Why is Mr. Tumble funny?

Why don't you want to slap Mister Maker in his face when he mentions 'gloopy glue'?

Why after a horrible day, that involves glue, jam, skitty poo, poo tram talk, wearing fairy wings to the shop, spraying my plants with washing up liquid & numerous tellings off, do I forgive you, go to bed and ready myself for more? 

Why, Mojo, is it okay to have a tantrum about me removing a block from the pile, but when it comes to things line injections you don't mind?

Why is my food, your food too?

Why is it, when you're sweaty it's okay, when I'm sweaty you say I'm a 'stinkyface'? 

Why is it, you can't hear me call you to tidy up, but you can hear me open a chocolate wrapped 7 miles away?

Why don't you wear matching socks? They match all the time, right up until they are on your feet.

So there are just some of the things I would like to ask the spawns.

The Rules
1. Post your whys – as few or as many as you like
2. Link up your post with Mummy Central and post a comment if you can
3. Tag 5 bloggers to keep this going
4. If you’re not a blogger, leave your whys as a comment below. We’d love to read them
5. Show your support by reading a few others and commenting on them

So who to tag? I'm going with the funnies, if you've done one before like I have feel free to recycle!! If you really can't think of anything, don't you worry! Throw a comment in the comment box.

Attempting the Ordinary
Sarah D over at MamaLalaBean
It's Misty... Seriously

Thursday, 13 September 2012

Gummee Glove Review.

Mojo is 10 months old. She chews like a puppy. Her hands, bibs, toys, feet other teethers. My face. All of it goes in that mouth of hers when she is teething. It's a dribbly mess.

When you're and about, she drops them, I have to carry around about 5. My bag is heaving with teethers and toys. Just once I'd like to put my things in my own bag.

Enter: Gummee Glove.

I was a bit sceptical when I saw pictures of it, looked a bit unorthodox. However, when I got the chance to try one, I'm going to do it. Obviously. Teething baby & new products? Hand-in-hand. Done deal. Give me the goods.

And boy did they deliver.


Here is a few pictures of the glove. There are a few close ups of the stitching so you can see the quality. It also comes with a very handy little storage pouch. There is a pink, water filled teething hoop which is detachable (not by little hands, I tested it) and a nice little crinkle patch which you can see in the picture (animal print bit). The colours are apparently a big winner too. Visually pleasing.

Some super close-ups of the pink, water filled teething ring. Although you can't freeze them, the instructions clearly state you can put them in the fridge. Perfect for little hot gums.

So, to the tester (who has a cold, so 'scuse the snot please?). She is fussy with toys and teethers. She is more fussy with things on her handies. Like gloves, in fact.

However, I strapped this little gizmo to her hands and she seemed very impressed. She turned it round a few times till she was comfortable with it. I can see such a huge bonus to this, babies have great difficulty keeping hold of things. With this you can strap it to their tiny hands and go about your business, knowing that you will not be picking up a toy off the floor any time soon.

I'm happy to report that, as well as giving her something sturdy to chew on and soaking up her dribble, it had the delightful effect of keeping her occupied. Like, really occupied. LOOK!

So, the real stuff.

It's R.R.P is £9.99. In total I can safely say I have spent more than that on teethers which have been used for less time. The quality is fab. It is stimulating for the nippers, Mojo really enjoyed playing, biting, throwing and slapping my in the eye with it. It comes with a very clear instructions. Apart from just being a normal teether, with the crinkle square and the small tags it encourages babies to practise motor skills.

Would I have bought it in a shop? Yes, I would.

I would have bought it for that little happy face right there. Her feral little face, making growling noises. Totally worth it.

You may be interested to know that the Inventor of the Gummee Glove won 'Product of the Month' in june 2012 from Mumsclub and is a finalist for 'Best Mumpreneur Product' in the Mumpreneur 2012 awards.

If you want to get in touch with Gummee Glove you can do so here :-

Gummee Glove Site

Note: I received this product free of charge.
Extra Note: I don't hand out good reviews willynilly, my last one wasn't at all lovely.

Reasons to love Autumn/Winter.

Reasons to love these seasons

  • The crisp fresh air. It can be a little nippy, but maybe you remember walking to school with rosy cheeks? Moving your chin around in a weird way because it was numb. Just me? 
  • The colours, the colours of Autumn are worth waiting all year for. They are glorious. Rich, deep reds, leaves so yellow the trees begin to look like a little bit of sunshine along the roads.
  • Darker nights - perfect for, relaxing, hot chocolate (gin), milky coffees (gin), warm soups (gin) and movies (gin?). 
  • Jumpers. You know that comfy jumper you've looked longingly at for a few weeks at the end of summer, it's time. Get it out. Snuggle that bad boy.

  • This might just be me. I love the Red Cups (Starbucks). A Venti, vanilla spiced latte, in a red cup.
  •  It's nearly Christmas.
  • The smell, the smell of cinnamon, nutmeg and spiced apple. Partly because the shops have gone OTT again. But those smells remind me of mince pies, puddings and winter.
  • The excitement. If you are one of the fortunate, your children will begin to get excited. That excitement is infectious. You could give them a pair of socks and an apple. They just love it.
  • Christmas lights, lit up against a dark sky. Twinkling like your own personal light show. 
  • Walking into your own home after being out in the cold air. The warmth hits you. 'Mmmmmm' you say.

  • The food. We vastly improve our food, the flavours and the care. It's okay to eat what you really want for a change. No one wears a bikini in winter. Bonus! 
  • Snuggling up in your very warm duvet, with the window a little cracked open. Smelling the cool air, and still being cosy.
  • Snow. Yes, I hear the groan from the drivers. But just sit back a moment and remember how you felt when it snowed when you were little. Snow is amazing. It's beautiful. 
  • Sending or receiving that first Seasons Greetings card.
  • Bonfire night! Unless you're a animal of some sort who is terrified of loud noises. The cool air combined with the acidic after smell of fireworks and bonfires. 
  • The landscape being transformed when the leaves finally fall. The twisted branches giving us a nod before they burst with life again.
  • Tights, hats, scarves and boots. Nuff said.
  •  November - The start of the Christmas German Market in Birmingham. This is a personal one, but the German Christmas Market is a feast for the eyes and the belly! Yum yum.

So next time you get a bit gloomy about it all. Go outside, take a big, deep breath. Let the crisp cool change in seasons fill your lungs up. Remember that you loved this time of year when you were younger. Is there anything not to love?

If you don't like these seasons please share why! Equally, if you do share that too.

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

I couldn't live without...

That blogger Suzanne over at 3 Children and It had this fab idea. 'I can't live without (insert item)'. It gets your brain on the go. What makes your life easy, fun, enjoyable. What is it that you CAN'T live without?

There are a few things that I can't do without. Coffee, I love it. It perks me up, it's my 'go-to' comfort for cold evenings and smells amazing. I love coffee. Could I live without it? Yeah.

Shit (isn't suggestion, can live without it). Next thing, I thought, go basic. Sleep.

*SCOFFS* I'm a parent, I've done without sleep, I will do without sleep and frankly I can live without it.

Next up, I nod all knowingly to myself. INTERNET. Yes that's it... Internet light goes off. Read a book. Hum, so I can live withouth it. (New fact).

I walk off into the kitchen and see my little cup.

My little limited edititon cup and saucer. I look at the name on the cup. *chuckle to self*

That is exaclty what I can't live without.

Reasons I can't live without Gin.

  • Gin keeps me warm. I can carry a hug in a hip-flask.

  • This particular gin, has a cork popping/twisting noise every time it's opened. Providing me with musical entertainment.

  • Gin, I can drink you from a bottle and pretend to be a pirate, thus fulfilling my need to fantasize.

  • Gin, you are so beautifully clear. If needed, I can pretend you are a very large glass of water.

  • You provide me with my 1 a day. Slice of lime with tonic. Olive, onion or cherry with martini. You healthy little beastie!

  • Gin, you are known as 'Mother's Ruin' Nice to meet you. I'm a 'Ruined Mother'. *nods*

  • Gin allows me to listen to people I find boring. Thus making me a very nice person. 

  • When things go bad, very, very bad. I am cool, calm and collected. How? How are you so calm right now? Let me throw in a picture for you!

  •  Gin is a staple in my blogging, twittering, online existence. 

  • I drink it at night, dream of it in the day and smell of it in the morning. This helps me fill up my spare hours. How handy you are Gin! 


Well, those are some of the reasons I can;t live without gin. It is a yummy, funny and down right sexy drink. 

Oh and one final thing! 

I'm tagging - 

Lovely bloggy peoples who make me laugh. (Gin makes me laugh, but usually cause I'm drunk)

As with all memes take a minute put a little link back to the origins, pick your weapon of choice and then pass on the gaunlet to 3 other bloggers! 

 Have fun, drink gin!


The Gallery: Beauty, Dedicated to the Spawns.

Hello, today's post is massive, packed & huge. It has a poem (I'm not kidding). Lots of photos.

Naughty Music for Naughty Children.

Before you go any further. Just click play. You know you want to. What? You really don't? Oh, okay then. 

Click play? Then go read why!

This song reminds me of being a parent, it makes me think of chasing spawn around all day as they empty cupboards, fall over and generally whirlwind around like the mischievous little spinning tops that they are. That's the beauty of the naughty behaviour. Quite frankly it's hilarious.
Beauty of this kind is simple. They are exploring the world, is there anything more beautiful that curiosity?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, behold - her eyes.

The thing about babies is, they are beauty. They are little miracles. The best thing about them is they have no idea how special they really are. Innocence is beauty.

Beauty is in words.

The Oak

This leaf is nature, that's Beauty, right?
Live thy Life,
Young and old,
Like yon oak,
Bright in spring,
Living gold;

Then; and then
Gold again.

All his leaves
Fall'n at length,
Look, he stands,
Trunk and bough
Naked strength

Alread, Lord Tennyson

Beauty is in spirit, she has plenty

She is fearless in the great outdoors, rain, sun, wind, there could be a monsoon. She will find the joy in it. Her spirit is huge, massive. I'm not sure how she fits it all in her little body.

Beauty is happiness.

 And finally I will finish up with this photo.

Every now and then, while doing something around the house or with the children. Your heart has the great pleasure in swelling up. No one knows how or why, but you can feel this happiness filling you up. There is a beauty in being content, there is beauty in happiness.

If I didn't overdose you.
Try this on for size.
It's Beauty to me. It really is. 

Tuesday, 11 September 2012

Parental Fails

Blaa, last few posts have been full of woes. I don't want to make it a running theme. So, for your pleasure today I will share my week (2 days) of failures!

  • Going to the shop with pear in my hair, so much in fact it looked like bird shit. It was dry and flakey, no one told me. Bastards.
  • Ran out of nappies, considering just wrapping a towel around her, like a bum tuban. I'm not a cloth nappier person, there will be poo leaking everywhere. 
  • Trod on a metal Thomas the Tank, shouted 'Jesus, bloody, wanking, Nora!'. Got asked what a 'wanking' was. It's a type of fish in case you wondered. Just one you can't tell anyone about. Yep, 'The Secret Wanking Fish'. It's a thing.
  • Got a carrot stuck under my finger nail. Not just any carrot. One out of poo. The worst bit, for a split second I forgot and nearly put it in my mouth. Yes ladies and Gents, I nearly ate a shitty carrot.
  • I tried to draw a 'cool picutre' for the blog and I drew...
It looks like a photo, no?
  •  I forgot to feed Eldest. She ate a heap of cookies around lunch time, I was all 'I'll make lunch when she is done'. Just before dinner a little voice said 'Mummmmy, just wondering... where did lunch time go today?'. Fuck. 
  • I've hidden the stick that dings the triangle. I felt like I was living inside a bell yesterday. This feels like a triumph. Unless you're 5 or under, then this is a disaster.

That is enough admission for now.

 Feel free to share any of your fails this week, I'd love to hear them!

Monday, 10 September 2012

A problem shared is still a problem.

I have this friend, he is a male friend. This makes no difference to the story but the details are everything. When I told him I had a blog he asked to never have his name used. I'm okay with that, so instead I'm going to call him Balti.

  I've known Balti for nearly 5 years, during this time I've seen him (I think) 5 times. We are friends, and I've seen him 5 times in 5 years. I can over look that, I do try to make myself available for friends. I change plans, get babysitters and I even brush my hair and put on a bra. 

We've been speaking quite a lot lately, he was having problems with a female. He seemed hurt about it. So I've tried to take his mind off it, tried to be supportive. I've listened and advised. We went for dinner, I'm usually okay with dinner conversation.

I soak up their problems, I don't mind. I'm a good listener. Some people say they are, but I really am. You can literally tell me anything. This weekend was filled with other peoples tales of woe. Serious things, I was shocked by some of the things I've learnt.They are swimming around my head now, clouding my own thoughts.

It got me thinking, why don't I share? What is it that stops me?

 Balti even said. 'If you ever you know, wanna, you know, talk, you can.' He had to say it twice, my initial reaction was one of sarcasm. Why did I do it? Fark knows.

I do so much want to talk. I'm just not sure you can handle it if I do.

I just can't bring myself to do it, I'm at a point with how I feel, at this very moment, if I talk, really talk, I'll cry. I don't know how I am holding it all in right now. I'm not, I have tears falling down my cheeks. It feels like the tip of the iceberg.

Have you ever stood on the highest dive board? That's me. I'm there. The pool below looks crisp and clean, for the few seconds of falling you are free. I mean really free. Then you hit the water. If you hit that water at the wrong angle you can hurt yourself. If you get it right, you slice through and glide out the other side.

If I talk, I'm hitting the water the wrong angle. I'm going to hurt. I don't feel glidey.

 I need a hug.

 A real one, from someone who cares.

Saturday, 8 September 2012

Sat Cap 08/09

Sometimes she is capable of pulling faces so awkward I run out of things to say. This is one of those times, I can't even think of anything to say! *stops talking*

Go on, caption us up!

When you're done with that hop over and check out the rest. Click the handy button. I know you want to.

Thursday, 6 September 2012

Am I now from a broken home?

So a little bit of background might be needed, last year my Mother left to go to Scotland by herself. She explained that her plan was to get a job and find a house, so that my Vatti (dad) and youngest brother could follow.

9 months pass.

She finds a house, has had a job for a while and it's all go. My dad packs as much as possible into the back of the van (this included 3 large dogs) and off he went. To live out that dream of relaxing with a sea view so close you can taste the salt from the front door, a quieter life a slower jaunt. It's very close. 30 paces tops.

So that stuff happened, after 23 ish years of being down here they leave. That's alright, I don't mind the leaving. It's a natural process, people move on, spread out. Do that, go and experience fancy new shit. I love new shit.

The last few weeks, something wasn't right. No one is blind enough to not notice. We get a text from Vatti, by 'we' I refer to brother and I. That simply says 'Congrats on new job, me and your mom have split up'.

 What the fucking nora are you having a bastard joke? Since when in farks name has it been acceptable to text these things? Never that's when. Never. 

So this had obvious repercussions. Why am I going to call? Why would I do that? They didn't have the time to call us. I have now turned into petty child.

In truth it was Maternal side that instigated said split.

I imagine it to look like this. (borrowed from BrokenHeart)

So now, I have to ask 'Why?'

If within 1 month of moving why would you do that? Take 2 people and 3 dogs away from their support network only to then realise that you don't really want 1 of them. The one that is for life. The one that is now sleeping in the blady spare living with all his stuff. I should add they have broken up a few times before, for a few months here and there. I'm from that family. This time the word 'divorce' is on the menu.

Obviously I don't agree with people being unhappy in a relationship, no one should do that to themselves. But there is a part of me that is angry, well, pissed off. If someone had moved me 800 miles from my friends and some family then did this to me. I can't quiet imagine the amount of hurt that would cause.It's pride shattering too.

Since then I have had numerous phones calls from one or the other. My hair is filled with secrets.

So now, what's the protocol? What is it that I am supposed to do when I am angry with one side of the party and trying to help the other? I am guessing I need to grow up and get my own shit together.

Am I now from a broken home? Do I get double christmas gifts now? Or, is it business as usual?

Whats the deal?

Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Back To School: The Gallery/SnapHappyBritMums

Back to school....

For us that means something different now.

We don't get the nervous energy, we don't get the crisp new uniforms. We don't even have to visit Clarkes to buy a show they haven't got in stock as we've left it too late.

We are home educators. We stay here (or go out). We have no uniforms, or tell tale signs of a 'Back to School'.

So what am I going to do? What picture will convey this? Truth is, all of my pictures look as if they are playing, they do not look like school work pictures.

So then I thought about it a bit more, there is only one picture that fully captures going back to school for us. It's not new, it's certainly not pretty but it captures it for me.

This is a picture of my bloated, hormone riddled self  (very pregnant) on her very first day at school, before we went HE, this ladies and gentlemen is 'Back to School'.

Bottom lip quivers.

Sunday, 2 September 2012

Healthy dose of judgement guilt.

I like to think of myself as pretty easy going, I try not to judge people, I don't know their situations and they don't know mine. Who am I to butt in with my opinions? No one, that's who. This week I got a healthy dose of a reminder that you should never judge a book my its cover. Or a person with his bum hanging out.

I was sitting outside Starbucks, relaxing with Mojo and Mr M. Sipping my refresher (cool lime) yummy. I looked over in to the high street. There is a man in an electric wheelchair (lets call him Mark) , he was cruising down the path. Suddenly he stopped, just like that. A man (we'll call him Bob for the remainder) , dressed in joggers with his arse hanging out stood in front of him, with his mate next to him. His hood was pulled up over his peak cap, and he had chains hanging from his neck like tinsel. He had huge rings on his fingers, and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. You get the picture right? Right.

I was convinced something bad was about to happen. Bob stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked around to the back of the wheelchair and removed the bags.

You know that moment when you see something, you get a flash of 'what should I do?' That is how I felt, I had that pang in my chest that I may be sitting by when something bad is happening.

Bob handed the bags to his friend, he reached his arm into the pockets of the man in the wheelchair.

I was getting a bit jittery. Could I recognise them if this really was a bad thing happening? Could I? 

Bob then unbuckled the clasp securing Mark into the chair and swiftly lifted him, placed him back down and removed keys and a wallet.

Fuck. I had sat and watched this happen. I had sat by and watched that happen and done nothing, I was livid with myself.

Bob then moved to the side of Mark and rearranged him, gentle re-tucked all his fleece padding, bent down and tenderly re-did the laces that had fallen open. He placed his arms round Mark and gave him a massive kiss. Fixed his pillow. He took a small comb out of his back pocket, the one which was sagging below his arse. Took it through Marks hair. They were laughing and joking.

Mark got his wheelchair on the move again, Bob and his mate walked along side him. They were talking away, I caught just enough of the conversation to hear Mark say -

 'Thanks for coming to help, I was getting really uncomfortable'

And the reply

'You know I've always got your back'.

I judged, I shouldn't have. I feel very humbled and stupid about it, even today. So I should.

Have you ever had a moment in your life where you have misjudged someone so badly? I would love to hear it.

Silent Sunday

Love All Blogs

Saturday, 1 September 2012

Our First Sat Cap!

I haven't taken part in Sat Cap before, not because I haven't got plenty of photos (I have squillions) but mostly because it's always a bit nervy joining in with super cool folk doing it!

  I sucked it up this week. I wanna be all cool and Sat Cappy.

So if you can think of a caption for this photo just stick it in my comments box!

So there it is folks! Out very first Sat Cap. To check out more zoom over to Mammasaurus, and maybe even add your own.


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