Reflective time of year

I think most people have the same sort of thing, with the run up to Christmas and New Year, becoming reflective.

I am at the moment. This time last year my best friends where my huge jogging bottoms because nothing else fitted and Tena Lady, because frankly I pissed myself all day. I was 3 days away from giving birth. I had been stuck in the bath, Mr M had his headphones on and I was pretty much wedged (my bath isn't large - but it isn't small either). Eventually he came up stairs and I was shivering, he laughed at me - 'cause he is supportive like that. It made me laugh to myself while putting poop covered clothes in the wash.

I was sitting, watching Mojo walk around, she reminds me strongly of myself when I was drunk and wobbling home. Oddly I had a burst of pride, not because she is nearly 1, not because she is walking not even because she already makes other kids cry. My pride was at myself. I have successfully got through almost a year with Eldest (the space cadet, who is never truly in the room with us) and Mojo (the most feral child I've ever encountered, I have the bite scars on my knuckles to prove it).

I was trying to think of things I could do to better my life this time last year, not because I didn't like my life, but because I wanted the girls to have a good stong female to look up to. And that is just one of my job, isn't it?

So I have changed my life. I now own a sucessful PR & Record Company. Eldest & Mojo both get involved, they listen and Eldest has a great opinion on music. I am really happy that it's worked out. It could have gone the other way.

So this year, I can report to you all that I am very proud of myself and my family this year and long may it continue.

Oh, and to finish on a high note:

Eldest 'Don't worry Mojo, mommy is going to die soon, but I will take care of you and I'll never throw you in the bin. Ever.'
Mojo 'Bum,bum,bum buuuuooooouuuuum'

Are you proud of yourself this year? What is your proudest moment?

Illness and an intimate moment.

You know the days where your heart aches? The days that you feel more compassion and love for your children than normal? That moment between 'It's just teething' and 'We might need to go to A&E'? The sheer terror that there might be something seriously wrong, or as we often do as parents overreact?

We had one of those last week, Mojo was ill. She was actually sick, twice. She'd never been sick before, not a proper vomit. She woke up screaming, her temperature was just on the right side of safe. She was wailing, her stomach was heaving up and down, her tiny face collapsed in on itself, she was scared, she looked a bit green.

I knew she needed to be sick, so I rubbed her back, she began to open her mouth so very, very wide, her expression changed and for one moment I didn't recognise her at all. I began to cry. I couldn't stand it. I'm usually very good with illness, but I'd forgot the look in a babies eye. The look of confusion and fear because they haven't been sick yet. The don't understand what is happening to their bodies.

I forgot that it was a 'first' that we hadn't encountered, I forgot it was one we had to go through at all.

So that is me sharing a very intimate moment with me and Mojo.

Cookie Monster, Fireworks & a Lightsaber.

We had a bit of an impromptu Halloween this year, it basically consisted of me dressing Mojo up as the Cookie Monster before Mr M got back from work...

This is her camera smile...

Eldest saying that she 'HAD TO BE SPIDERMAN, MY LIFE DEPRONGS ABOUT IT'

To save from any depronging -

I threw in a doughnut as an anti depronging device...

Then I read on Facebook (damn you facebook) about a fireworks display...

'Do you fancy fireworks Mr M?'
'Sure, when?'
'Mom, you know me, I love fireworks, I LOVE THEM, they are amazing and awesome'
'Right, I thought you were in the toilet, let me just check what da....' Oh shitters.
'It's in half an hour...'

All hell broke lose, boots, scarves, coats and sweat (I think that but was just me). All ready to go. Here are some pictures - they are off my phone so forgive how groovy they are!!

Obviously no firework display is totally complete without a small child who wants a lightsaber... If you are in any confusion as to who she actually thinks she is...

Yeah, she thinks she is Darth Maul.

So that is my picture packed weekend!!

Uh-oh jungo - It's danger island next & gin.

So this week has been a bit manic. Mr M did something to his ankle, which we are yet to discover. The upshot is, we ended up in A&E the other night, after the doc had a good ol' fiddle (with his ankle) he said this -

'I can tell you it's not broken! There is no torn ligaments either!'

Mr M - 'Oh that great news I was worri...

'Let me finish, it's not broken, so we can't put it in a cast, it's not torn so I can repair it. It's worse actually'

Mr M 'What?'

'Well, you actually have permanent ligament damage, as in - it's not going to go away. Further from that, we can't do anything to repair it, until it tears. It will eventually begin to feel better, in a few weeks or months, we can't really tell you that without and MRI - which we won't do, further to that you're going to need to sign yourself off from work and get a doctors note for at least 2-3 weeks.'

Mr M 'Oh.'

And with that lovely doctor man leaves. He wasn't really lovely in anyway. At all.

Mr M 'Oh. Fuck. Sake. Oh. Fuck.'

Me '........'

So there we go that is the update of the ankle variety!

In other news, well, I cleaned the kitchen. Totally blitzed it yesterday, and today it looks like a shit tip, I blame the invalid.

To console myself after an arsehole of a week (I just noticed it was Thursday not Friday -crappoly), I have gin.

Note to self: