Monday, 28 October 2013

Pregnant Woman V Cold


I'm not even joking when I say I have pissed myself roughly every 5 or so minutes today. How I've ever had a bladder full enough to actually nip to the loo with is shocking. The reason for my wee squirts?

 I have a cold. That sneaky cold, that you just wake up with. Something that I typically get rather than a cough, is the sneezies. I sneeze every 5 or so minutes about 20 or so times and then just when I can take anymore I sneeze one more time and so my wee dribble.

 Yes ladies and gents, I am making this pregnancy shit look sexy. Awwwww yeah.

Mojo also has a cold, but she is made of evil and troops on. I thought 'Hey, taking her for a hot bath to help steam away some of that snot will help'.

What actually happened was in a matter of milliseconds she took a big runny, drippy, slippy, sloppy clear snot and splatted me on the cheek with it and at that very moment my face exploded a sneeze right into her face.

 I don't know how to describe the look on her face. Or mine. She then laughed so hard she farted, pointed out that she farted and then said 'Ergh, blergh, 'scusing farty bum.'

So yeah Day one of Pregnant Woman V Cold:

Cold 1 Pissy PG Woman 0

 

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